WHAT PARENTS CAN DO

Create a safe environment for your children to tell you about being bullied. The fact that victims are usually warned by bullies not to tell anyone makes it difficult for them to talk with parents and teachers. Many times kids are embarrassed to tell their parents what happened, thinking that their parents will blame them. A parent can ask, “Sometimes kids at school pick on other kids or say mean things to them. Does this ever happen to you at school?” Reinforce the idea that if they are being bullied, it is not their fault. “The person that is picking on you is the one with a problem, not you. Bullies pick on people for no real reason, but it is just because they have problems of their own, not because of anything you have done.” Don’t teach your kids to hit or fight back; it will only make things worse.

Here are five steps that are good to suggest: ignore, move away, ask to stop, tell firmly to stop and tell an adult. Teach your child safety strategies; encourage your child to walk away and tell an adult if he feels someone is about to hurt him. Brainstorm and practice strategies with your child to avoid further victimization. Educate your child about bullying and bullies. Help him put the problem in perspective and not to take it personally. Encourage him to make contact with calm and friendly students in his school. Encourage your child to participate in physical training or sports, even if he’s reluctant. Physical exercise can result in better physical coordination and less body anxiety, which, in turn, is likely to increase self-confidence and improve peer relationships.

Support bully prevention programs in your child's school. Keep your child’s teacher informed of any incidences of bullying.

Parents of children who bully others should understand that children who aggressively bully peers are at increased risk for engaging in anti-social or criminal behavior in the future. If you see any bullying, stop it right away. Take it seriously. Even if you're not worried about long-lasting effects on your child, another child is being hurt. Talk to your child to find out why he or she is bullying. Often, children bully when they feel sad, angry, lonely, or insecure and many times major changes at home or school may bring on these feelings. Ask a teacher or a school counselor if your child is facing any problems at school, such as if your child is struggling with a particular subject or has difficulty making friends. Ask them for advice on how you and your child can work through the problem. Ask yourself if someone at home is bullying your child. Often, kids who bully are bullied themselves by a parent, family member, or another adult.

Parent of bullies tend to use inconsistent discipline and little monitoring of where their children are throughout the day. Sometimes parents of bullies have very punitive and rigid discipline styles, with physical punishment being very common. Bullies also report less feelings of closeness to their siblings. Bullies are motivated by power and want to win in every circumstance. Provide opportunities for your child to succeed. Provide constant support and encouragement, and tell him that you love him often.

Finally, be aware that bullying prevention programs in schools are often a very effective way to stop bullying. Keep communication open with your child’s teacher, administrators and if you are at MES or LDP you can contact your site’s Project Respect Coach to work with you and your child. Support your school and community’s anti-bullying efforts.